I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
try to milk me bitch
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