All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
