Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
