Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I need a burrito and a hug.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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