just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
