Buhtt sex?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
