We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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