I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
