just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
