I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
