Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
