i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
