I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
