How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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