I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
