it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
