apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sorry about my life...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
