I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
