Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
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