Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
