What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
