I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
