Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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