I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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