____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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