I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Sorry my hands just texted you
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
