...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
