Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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