I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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