Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize