You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
