Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
