Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
