I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
