help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
