I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She bit a glass in half.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
