i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
