you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
