In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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