hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
