i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
