you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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