If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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