been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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