i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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