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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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