I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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