Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize