Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
