I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
