There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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