That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize