Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
