so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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