Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
