he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
