worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
