My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
