I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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