I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
