Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
