Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
