She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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