You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
