I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
