Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
