I wish you could order shots online.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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