Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
