Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So gin and wine won't be happening again
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize