mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
