I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
