He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
