Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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