I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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