quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
