He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
